Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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