I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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