well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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