thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize