I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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