New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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