U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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