I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
