I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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