This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
