I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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