So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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