there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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