The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
