a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
