Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
