Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My pussy is not your playground.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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