Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
