I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
