I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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