At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize