oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
