I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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