nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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