She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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