Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
