I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize