so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
