i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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