some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
