so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My pussy is not your playground.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
