Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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