So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
