how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
