How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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