the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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