I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
