Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
