Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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