as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize