Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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