Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
