I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
