at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
