woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
