This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
