on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
