I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize