do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
