I molested 6 butterflies tonight
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
