Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Two words: nipple clamps
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