false alarm. still invincible.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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