We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
