She said her name was "party"
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
