The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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