just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Two words: blizzard sex
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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