Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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