things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
