he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
