I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
