we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
