i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
