No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You left your phone here
Wait...
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