When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
