the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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