my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize